Looking Through Your Eyes
by Ayra Sei Ethari
Summary: It’s always been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. So what happens when Obi-Wan Kenobi looks into the eyes of the girl he loves, and she his? Will they find the love they seek – or find the rejection they fear? Songfic


_**Looking Through Your Eyes**_

_Summary:_ It's always been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. So what happens when Obi-Wan Kenobi looks into the eyes of the girl he loves, and she his? Will they find the love they seek – or find the rejection they fear?

_Rating:_ K

_Genre:_ humor ; friendship ; romance

_Canon Character(s):_ Master Obi-Wan Kenobi (38)

_OC Character(s):_ Miluiel (18)

_Set During:_ shortly after RotS

_Note:_ In this fic, pretend that Anakin did kill Palpatine/Sidious when he ran after the Masters in the office and that now this is a period of peace afterwards, for the war is over and the Separatists have surrendered.

Also, the lyrics I use in this fic belong to "Looking Through Your Eyes" from the movie _Quest for Camelot_, as sung by Andrea Corr and Bryan White.

And lastly, this is my first songfic and I wrote it in like, two hours, so please no flames! Constructive criticism, yes, please, though.

* * *

~ _Obi-Wan Kenobi_ ~  
When I opened my eyes, I saw three things and all of them were good – but only one made me smile. The rest . . . well, they just made me grimace.

First and foremost, I noticed that I was back in the Jedi Temple. That was the good part. But more specifically, I was in the healer's wing. That was the _bad_ part. I really didn't like being imprisoned in the healer's wing. I knew it was childish and that I was a very bad patient for such a patient Jedi, but I just couldn't stand being cooped up in here.

Secondly, I noticed with a sigh that my mouth tasted faintly of bacta. I wrinkled my nose in distaste. Yes, bacta healed wounds fast, and yes, it left no scars, and yes, it saved lives. But once you were dunked in it, the stench – well, more like sweet, cloying smell – didn't go away for a long time, and it stayed on your breath and tongue for even longer than that.

It wasn't until I scanned the room entirely that I noticed the third thing.

Miluiel.

She was curled up in one of the huge, comfy chairs, her head pillowed on her hands, her expression peaceful, and her chest rising and falling softly with each breath.

I chuckled softly, my former annoyance gone. I had already known that Miluiel wasn't very tall, but this confirmation – her actually being able to curl up comfortably on these huge chairs – was rather amusing.

Well, sometimes.

Miluiel may have been short, but getting her angry was still _not_ a good idea. At all. Unless, of course, you _wanted_ your head chewed off and your tongue silenced by her arguments and your eyes burned out of your head by her glaring ones.

Then again, the chairs were huge. Bigger than normal, actually. They were designed so that any Jedi of any species could fit on it, and the humans were by no means the largest of the species in the Order.

So maybe it wasn't so surprising that Miluiel could curl up in the chair.

But it was still a little amusing to me.

I sighed. She looked so . . . _young_ when she was asleep. Peaceful. Innocent. Content. As if she hadn't a care in the world. As if she was still a child. As if she was protected and loved – and knew it.

My throat constricted at the thought, and I looked away.

Miluiel did have cares in the world, and she wasn't really a child anymore, and she was protected and knew about it – and most of the time didn't like being, in her words, "babysat". But that wasn't what bothered me . . . well, not too much.

What bothered me was the last part.

Because Miluiel _was_ loved. And not the friend or brotherly type of love either.

One hitch – she didn't know about it.

Not that it was her fault she didn't know, of course. I was just . . . I hadn't exactly gotten around to telling her, that was all.

Well, actually, it was a lot more than that.

I loved Miluiel – loved her, perhaps, more than I'd ever loved anyone. It hadn't been the kind of love that you took one look and never looked away. It had been the kind of love that crept up on you so slowly that you didn't realize it until _bam!_ – and it hit you smack dab in the face.

That had happened to me. And now it wouldn't go away.

It was almost painful, actually. I'd look at her, see her smiling and laughing, and yet . . . yet _I_ wasn't the reason for the smile, for the laugh. I didn't give her that joy.

Actually, I'd probably never be able to give her that kind of joy. I mean, I was a fully-active Jedi on the field, with missions here and there all over the place. I couldn't settle down; I simply didn't have the time. It just wouldn't be fair for her – actually, for anyone.

So I had to settle with loving her from a distance.

It was the Jedi path, the way we were _supposed_ to act – to love without expecting, without needing to be loved in return. It was the way I'd been taught and raised.

But . . . But sometimes it just wasn't enough.

Sometimes, I fully believed that I _needed_ her. I needed her in my life. I needed to see her, to know she was all right, to know she was alive and well.

I shoved the thought away, trying to regain control. This was the reason I hated pain medication. It always managed to send me into a weird mood that always had me like . . . well, like this.

"Obi-Wan?"

Startled, my gaze snapped to Miluiel. She had lifted her head from her hands, her eyes still a little out of focus with sleep.

Then she did something I never would have expected her to do.

She literally _flew_ at me.

I barely managed to sit up in time so that I could hug her back instead of being squished into the bed. Even though she was light, lighter than me, her impact was still rather surprising to me, but I endured it without too much difficulty.

After all, how many times had I dreamed about being able to hold her as I did now?

Miluiel clung to me, burying her face in my shoulder, as her whole body trembled with shivers. I stroked her hair as soothingly as I could while my heart started to calm down from the frantic race of surprise, murmuring meaningless words.

I knew why she was scared, after all, and I didn't want her to feel that way anymore.

Finally, after a long time, she started calming down. Her grip started loosening and the shivers became farther apart and less pronounced.

When she was as calm as I thought she was going to get, I said, "Hi there too. You plan to knock me over and knock me out?"

She blushed shyly and pulled away. I let her – regretfully.

"Sorry," she murmured, twisting a lock of her dark brown hair around a finger. "It was a nervous reaction. I don't know what came over me, I – I just – "

I laughed, tenderly brushing her cheek with gentle fingers. "I know. Relax. I'm fine. You don't need to worry."

Miluiel blushed again, glancing down. Her dark brown eyes were even darker now, despite the bright light of the healer's wing.

Her eyes mesmerized me. Originally, I had thought they were black, totally and completely black, but as I had gotten to know her, I had realized that my assumption was wrong. They were actually a very, very dark brown, a brown that shifted and sometimes lightened and darkened according to her mood. I had never known such a color until I had met her – and I had never known such a love until I had met her either.

"What about you? Are you all right?" I asked.

She nodded, glancing back up. "I wasn't hurt. I was more worried about you. . ."

"Well, don't. The healers worry enough," I grumbled.

Miluiel laughed. "I know."

I threw aside the blankets and made to get out of the bed. I needed to do some stretching and regain some muscle use.

She caught my arm. "Um – What exactly are you doing?"

"Stretching. What else?" When she suddenly wouldn't meet my eyes, I demanded, "What?"

"Healers said you couldn't leave the bed. Not until tomorrow, at the earliest," she murmured softly.

I groaned and fell back to the bed. "In the name of – " I exclaimed in annoyance.

I heard Miluiel laughing at my reaction. Annoyed, I opened one eye and glared at her. Unfortunately, it only made her laugh even more. . .

"Why don't you like this place?" she asked between giggles.

I closed my eyes. "I like seeing the stars at night. I obviously can't here."

"Oh." Her voice turned reflective, the laughter having gone completely. Then the bed creaked, and her weight disappeared. I heard a soft click, and then the zoom of the shade going up.

I opened my eyes, my curiosity having gotten the better of me, and glanced at her.

She was perched on a chair near the window and glancing out with an almost absent expression on her face, as though it was she who wanted to see the stars and was confined, not me.

_Look at the sky tell me what do you see  
Just close your eyes and describe it to me_

"Why don't you tell me what the stars look like?" I asked suddenly.

She started. "How do I describe . . . well . . . _that_?" she asked, gesturing at the window. "I don't – I can't – "

"Just close your eyes," I said easily. "Tell me what you see."

She glared suspiciously at me, her eyes sparkling. Half of it was for the challenge she detected in my words, but mainly she was just suspicious of my intent – and wondering if I was joking with her.

I opened my eyes again. "Come on . . . It's not that hard," I said in a teasing, almost singing voice.

_The heavens are sparkling with starlight tonight  
That's what I see through your eyes_

The suspicion faded from her eyes, but she didn't look at the sky. She kept looking at me.

I wished she wouldn't.

I mean, I didn't need _her_ to describe what the universe looked at night to me. In most ways, she _was_ my universe. She was the glowing star on the horizon, the shining sun in the center, the luminous moon above.

As long as she was smiling, I could see the whole universe reflected in her eyes – her beautiful, glowing, sparkling eyes.

Only . . . compared to her . . . it wasn't really that beautiful.

She stood suddenly.

"What, you memorized what the heavens looks like so quickly?" I teased, looking up at her.

She sat on the bed. "I don't need to," she said quietly.

_I see the heavens each time that you smile  
I hear your heartbeat just go on for miles  
And suddenly I know why life is worthwhile_

I stared up at her, for some reason feeling a sense of déjà vu. "Then why were you nervous?" I asked, trying and failing to sound teasing.

"I don't need to see the heavens to see what they look like," she said with a soft smile. "I just need . . . you. I just need to see you smile . . . to know you're safe, alive . . . That's it. That's all."

I stared, stunned. "Wh – Wha – What?" I spluttered.

_That's what I see through your eyes  
That's what I see through your eyes_

"All I need to see are your eyes," she whispered. "I can see everything in them. And I – I didn't know – I didn't know what life meant . . . not until I met you."

My throat constricted even more. I stared. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, having loved her for so long from a distance and now being told that she . . . in a way . . . had liked me too.

_Here in the night, I see the sun _

Suddenly, Miluiel didn't just look beautiful to me – now she was the very center of the universe. She was more than just the girl I loved – now she was my sun, my air, _my life_. Everything of value, just name it and she was it.

And the world had never seemed so _bright_ . . . so _beautiful_ . . . so beyond words.

It was like I had been blind before, able to see but unable to see the most amazing part of my life. As if I only saw part of the spectrum, and not all of it.

But now – now I could. And it was _amazing_.

_Here in the dark, our two hearts are one_

I tentatively stretched out a hand to her, and she without the slightest pause laid her hand in mine. I was startled to feel her faint pulse matched my completely, because now that we were both so nervous, our hearts were beating in tandem – they were beating, in fact, at the same time as though they were . . . _one_.

_It's out of our hands, we can't stop what we have begun  
And love just took me by surprise, looking through your eyes_

I pulled her closer as I sat up, holding her hand tightly and yet feeling as though she was glass and I was hurting her. But that was only what part of my mind registered.

The rest . . . well, it was completely taken by her eyes, the swirling depths of emotion that spoke clearer to the girl I loved than anything about her. I just couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't move. I was caught in her spell, and I didn't want the enchantment to end.

Besides, it was a tiny bit late for this to end.

I loved her so much, and now she was offering all of that back to me – and I was just didn't have the self-control to resist her. I couldn't stop what she had begun. And . . . I really didn't want to anyways. . .

_I see a night I wish could last forever_

When she was right in front of me, I hesitated, unsure if she really wanted this . . . if she really wanted _me_. I mean . . . I was so much older than . . . broken by war . . . dangerous . . . I couldn't give her anything, anything she wanted and even less what she deserved. . .

Then she kissed me, and I froze.

And then the moment that before I had thought would be embarrassing beyond recall for eternity suddenly _was_ eternity. Eternity, forever, everlasting – and I didn't want it to end.

Ever.

_I see a world we're meant to see together  
And it is so much more than I remember_

When she drew back, I looked at her in wonder. The world still was bright and beautiful – more so than it had ever been before. So much more than anything I had ever remembered, even from my earliest memories. It was even better than before the war, before Qui-Gon's death – before everything.

And it was all because of her.

_More than I remember_

I reached up and caressed her cheek. "You are more beautiful than I remember," I said in a soft whisper.

_More than I have known_

"And you – you are the cause of more love than I have ever known," she whispered back, clasping the hand I caressed her cheek with and pressing it closer, closing her eyes as if she didn't want to wake up from the dream.

_Here in the night, I see the sun  
Here in the dark, our two hearts are one_

Suddenly, everything was as crystal clear as it was beautiful and amazing. She was my sun, my air, my life – she was everything and I had been so foolish about never telling her. It was like the darkness, the confusion, the void in my heart was gone because the sun had come out – and she was my sun.

My heart was hers and hers mine – and together they were _one_.

_It's out of our hands, we can't stop what we have begun  
And love just took me by surprise, looking through your eyes_

I couldn't stop this now. Miluiel had made her admission, and now I made my own. I leaned forward and tugged her back on to the bed before kissing her back, letting her know that I loved her just as much as she loved me and that I wasn't rejecting her suit.

Funny how I had gone from lamenting the fact that I couldn't tell her, that I could only love her from a distance to this – to kissing her for real as I'd always dreamed.

And all because I had looked straight in her eyes for once.

_Looking through your eyes _

I broke the kiss and looked in her eyes again, scanning for any sign of hesitation or confusion. I didn't want to make her think that she was obligated to love me because I loved her. I wanted her to love me because she loved me – for no other reason.

I saw no flicker, no hesitation, no confusion. She looked me straight in the eye, firm in her decision.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder _why_ she loved me. . .

Miluiel smiled slightly when I asked. Snuggling closer, she murmured, "Do you really think women wouldn't look twice at you? The more I know you, the more . . . addicting you are."

"I am not," I objected, running my fingers through her hair. "If anything, you are."

She snorted. "I'm an eighteen-year-old girl. You're a Jedi Master, a general, a brilliant negotiator. You have a lot more to offer."

"I don't see it that way."

She sighed, glancing up with an amused air. "That's because you have self-esteem issues," she whispered, pressing her lips against my throat.

A breath hissed out between my teeth as I fought my body's reaction. "I – I do – I do not," I barely managed to spit out.

Then I noticed what she doing that had my body reacting to her.

One of her hands was absently tracing the scars on my chest. The scars I had gained from war that I always hid, but were now of course displayed considering my lack of a shirt or tunic.

I pushed her hand away. "I know they're not . . . I know you don't like them. You don't have to pretend if you don't want to," I said gently.

She tilted her head. "What's wrong with them?"

"Well . . . I know they're not pleasant, and – "

The words were hard to say. The scars made me look like a monster, really. I wasn't sure why she wasn't pulling away right now. She had seen how dangerous I was when in battle with a lightsaber, and now she saw the scars I bore from those battles – do why didn't she see me as a monster?

Miluiel pulled away with a groan of exasperation. She grabbed my head and pulled it down so that our foreheads touched. Without thinking, I reached out to the Force to read her intent . . . only, her intent was literally her intent.

For the first time, I saw myself as others – well, as _she_ saw me.

It was confusing.

_Looking through your eyes_

"Look through my eyes and see what I see," she murmured. "Then you will understand."

I saw myself, not through the mirror, but as she saw me. I would have protested that she was placing me on too high a pedestal, but the words were stuck in my throat.

Her emotions – her admiration, her desire, her love – they all colored what she was showing me.

I couldn't reject that.

I opened my eyes slowly. "This . . . This is what you see?" I managed to whisper.

"Every day."

I felt a smile coming on. "Now and forever," I added, pulling her closer. "Just do me one favor?"

"What?"

I nuzzled her hair, kissing it lightly. "Don't look at yourself and judge yourself by your eyes either. Look through mine."

She laughed, pressing herself closer to me. "Why would I need to? I can't exactly change _your_ mind, now can I?"

"Do you want to?"

"No."

"Didn't think so."

Miluiel pulled away suddenly. I let go immediately, startled and wondering what she was doing. Was she rejecting me already?

Then she tackled me, and I found myself laughing uncontrollably.

When I finally regained enough conscious to realize why – she was tickling me – I turned the tables and tackled her, rolling us over so that I could tickle her – and then she was the one laughing uncontrollably and squirming under my fingers.

"Obi-Wan – stop – Obi-Wan – " she gasped between giggles.

Laughing, I stopped and rested contentedly beside her. She immediately turned and slipped into my embrace, nestling against her side as if she was meant to be there.

In a way, she was, but it thrilled me all the same.

"That's why I love you," she said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"You can laugh as well as plan war." She shifted. "You know, your scars don't bother me."

"They should," I muttered darkly.

"Why?"

"Because I'm a monster."

Now she pulled away, her eyes wide. "What? No!"

I let her go. "Yes."

"What in the name of the Force ever gave you that idea?"

I pulled away from her, unable to look at her eyes anymore. I sat up and made to slip out of the bed, but then her arms encircled my waist from behind as she pressed herself against my back, silently begging me not to leave.

I sighed. "I've killed . . . I can't even remember anymore. So many dead. . . So much blood on my hands. . ."

"I do not care."

"You should."

"Tell me . . . in light of all of this . . . would you ever hurt _me_?"

I jumped. "No!" The word dropped from my lips before I'd even fully processed her sentence, but it didn't matter. My whole being, my whole mind, my whole soul – they all shield light-years away from ever harming a single cell in her body.

"See?" she murmured against my skin. "You created a better place for me – for us – to live in, and I thank you for that. I don't care who you've killed; given any chance, they would show no regret in harming me or you, yet . . . I don't care, Obi-Wan."

"You should."

"I don't. And no words you say will ever change my mind."

"Why not?"

"Because you'll never be a monster to me until the day my blood is the blood on your hands," she said flatly.

I turned. "You know I will never let that happen."

Miluiel leaned closer. "Which is why you can never be a monster to me."

I sighed, smiling wearily. "You're stubborn." But despite my words, I couldn't stop myself from lifting a hand and caressing her dark brown locks.

She leaned closer. "Too bad."

I chuckled. "It's not a bad thing. It's why I love you."

"Wh – "

I cut her off by kissing her soundly, wrapping my arms around her completely. I didn't want to deal with her questions anymore. I loved her and she loved me, and to her that was enough. And if it was enough for, it was enough for me.

And all of this I hadn't known until I had looked into her eyes . . . and seen myself through her eyes.

**_The End_**


End file.
